Conflict Resolvement

Everyone deals with conflicts differently or in their own way. Some people use the avoiding tactic. This is trying to stay away from the problem so one does not have to deal with it at that moment. Another way of dealing with conflicts is accommodation. This is letting the other individual have their way in the fight for the better of the relationship. The third way of dealing with a conflict is competing. This is where both individuals believe they are right and will not back down from their side in the fight. The next tactic is compromising. This is a give and take type of way of dealing with the issue at hand. Both individuals give up something they want to receive something on the other end. The final way of dealing with a conflict, which is the best, is collaborating. This is where both individuals work to find the best resolve for the problem. They work at the problem until both persons needs are met.
I use the competing style of dealing with a conflict. I like to be right all the time. The problem in that lies with my girlfriend. She also likes to be right, a lot. We butt heads and fight till the end all the time. Neither of us want to give up. I will stand my ground in a situation until one of two things happen. One, I get my way and usually feel like crap about it because by this time my girlfriend is really upset. Or two, I finally settle for a happy medium.
Both my girlfriend and I exert all of our options while competing to be right, until we finally have to stop and find solution that both of us can live with.

Intimacy

Intimacy is different for everyone as well as have some similarities. The word intimacy refers to a familiar and very close connection with another as a result of entering deeply or closely into relationship through knowledge and experience of the other. Genuine intimacy in human relationships requires dialogue, transparency, vulnerability and reciprocity. For a lot of people intimacy only involves the one element "physical." And for me its a big part as well, but its not the only part. I know a lot of people who make relationships only about the sex and it shows after not very long how the relationship works out. Not very well. For me relationships need to be well rounded in communication, intimacy and as well as time apart from one another to make the relationship stronger. I like to think that my intimate relationship has all four elements. Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and finally sharing activities together. I really pride myself with spending time with my loved one doing fun and exciting things together so I don't find myself in a day to day rut of a relationship that's no fun anymore. We do things as simple as renting a movie and sitting on the couch eating popcorn all the way up to taking spur of the moment weekend trips up to Canada or Wisconsin Dells or something along those lines. I find myself venting to my loved one and sharing with her everything that's on my mind from experiences that I came across throughout my day. I also find her doing the same. We have a pretty strong relationship and are doing well in life. But like all good things, there is always room for improvement and we cant turn our heads from that.

Johari Window

Self disclosure lies in the hands of each individual person. I personally disclose different amounts of information to different people. My girlfriend is one of the people I trust most, along with my parents. With these people, I will tell almost anything that I have on my mind. I know that these people will support me with any problems I am having and will give me advice when I need it. With these people, I disclose information as simple as what I had for lunch that day all the way to personal information.
Now on the other hand, people that I do not know as well, I am a bit more closed in what I bring to the table. The way I see it, these people probably do not care what I had for lunch. When I first meet someone, I talk to them and try to figure out what common interests we share so I know what to talk about and what information I feel necessary to disclose with this other individual.
Self disclosure for some people has no boundaries. I have met quite a few people who will tell you their life story the minute you meet them. This bugs me. Usually I am preoccupied and do not really care about their life story the first minute I meet someone.

Emotions

Some emotions can be easily expressed while others may be difficult. I am a typical male who does not like to share or show certain emotions. A few emotions that are difficult for me to share are: Pain, Sadness, or Sickness. I feel that if the people around me see me like one of these things they will think of me as a weak male. When I have people who care and depend on me around me a lot the last thing I want them seeing is me hurt, sick or sad. I want to be in good health, strong, and always in a good mood. I think that society makes us feel this way. Society makes us as guys feel as though it is a bad thing to show our emotions. In some ways maybe I could be a little more open with them but as I stated earlier I don't want people looking at me and thinking that I am weak. I do have an emotion that I show quite easily, and that is frustration. I tend to get frustrated and upset quite often. I feel that this is because of the amount of stress I have in life. I work full time, go to school full time, and have a girlfriend that I live with. This doesn't sound too terrible. And its not... I make it more stressful than it needs to be and therefore get frustrated when I don't get enough time to myself. This is something that I need to work on. I need to create more time for myself so I do not get the feeling of overwhelming stress and frustration so much. I think having more time to myself will eliminate some of that stress and overall make it easier on those around me who have to deal with this frustration.

7 Core Competencies

I believe that I have two strong points in communication. The first is that I like to feel that I hold up my end of a conversation well. When I am talking to someone, I like to feel that they are listening to me and that they care about what I am talking about. If someone gets the feeling that I am not listening to them when they are talking to me, I would hope that they would let me know because I hate the feeling. The second strong point I feel I have is honesty in my communication. I tell it like it is. I do not like to lie and tell someone something that is not true or if it is not how I really feel.

I am only human and do feel that I have a couple of weak points. The first is tactfulness. I sometimes phrase things in the wrong way and they come off as blunt or disrespectful. I do not mean to be hurtful or disrespectful when I talk it just comes off that way. My second weak point is behavior flexibility. I find myself talking to my girlfriend the same way I would talk to one of my buddies or a person from work. This sometimes gets me in trouble because again I come off as a bit harsh.

1st Time

Well I've never blogged before or really paid any attention to it when I heard the word "blog." But now that it is required I thought I should try it out and see how it works?